Wave Goodbye, Wish Me Well.....

The long-awaited tide
That took ages to come
I step onto the waters
and allow myself to embark on a lonely journey
My mind tells me that storms and harsh winds and darkness await
but my heart tells me a new-found shore is patiently waiting for me
The tide slowly pulls me away from all that I know
Bringing me towards uncertainty
Will I sink? Will I swim?
What is 'I' anyway?
As days go by, I cannot see anymore the chest full of my baggage that I threw intot his very sea
It is a good sign....
Change is already here
Be my guest, Mr Change
because from where I used to be, any change is good for me.

To the few of you who share my joy and also my pain, bid me farewell.. only for a little while. But to some, this is hello. I will see you soon. I waited too long for this.

Thanks, Mr God.

Are we human, or are we dancer?

St Padre Pio from Pietrelcina, Italy, was the first Catholic priest to receive the 5 signs of the Stigmata and miraculously those 5 wounds healed completely when he passed way. He is my patron saint. Go Google him up.

So how am I feeling today? Slightly better. Thanks to my precious buddies. I apologise in advance to those of you who read my blog and think it's a waste of time. I apologise coz if you do think so then I wouldn't want you as my buddy anymore coz clearly, you dont' have any rat's ass of an idea what is going on with me. =) I try to avoid being morose or anymore caved in. I want to cave out. Word's out that I will be working in KL soon. Word's out that I will be doing fine very very soon. And for the first time in my life, if I ever consume any alcohol, I mite just cry. LOL. For the fun of it.

I am on a mission in getting my old self back. You know, the funny nice crazy happy me. No more inhibiton. My theme song now shall be The Killer's 'Human'...."Pay my respects to Grace and Virtue, Send my condolences to Good, Give my regards to Soul and Romance, they always did the best they could, and so long to Devotion, You thought everything I know".........

So... Are We Human? Not many of us are..... but still we try to be all the good things that we know about.

Winter's cold but we love the snow.
I'm getting old, but I'd love to know,
if I am to do as I'm told, or go out to plough,
the fields of riches and gold, or hear the calling to mould,
me into something that will show,
the Human side of me unfold....

Try eating or drinking pinaepple juice early in the morning. Rihanna does that apparently. Gets your metabolism going. Can you tell me what is my number 1 bad habit and pet peeve? if you can correctly guess, I will spend you lunch at TGIF. =) See ya.

Plus Size Models Aren't Fat, We're Just Skinny

Why can't we become rock stars in an instant and sing til our hearts bleed and rust? Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Dodo meltdown. Been anticipating this for a while now. To all you dummies who don't listen to your instincts, go stand in the middle of Karak highway and don't budge when you see a trailer coming towards you. How often we tend to abandon our greatest gift: ourselves.

You know like that Train song, Drops of Jupiter? "Sorry bout a man who's too afraid to fly so he never did land?"..."You missed me while you were looking for yourself out there". Peeps, do not, ever, be with a person who doesn't like you for who you are, and tells you that he can do better than you. "Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star called Mridula, the one without the permanent scar and then you missed me while you were looking for yourself out there...".

Someone please tell me how to ease the hurt. IF you are close enough to me, you will know what I am talking about. Potential rebound man (Nunu this one's for you)...

1) Casper the Friendly Ghost
2) Ronald McDonald
3) Colonel Sanders (What's his first name?)
4) Cookie Monster
5) Mr Jack Daniels

Crackin'.

Departed......

For: My Buddies.Of.Love.Only (BOLOs)

Buddies of Love,

Thank you for showering so much of understanding, care, love, hugs, smiles and even the rainbow everytime I didn't feel too good. Sometimes I appear to be wallowing in my own self-pity but that is how human nature is. The word 'Friends' are mentione din the Bible many times, are are compared to be better than the finest gold. I could not agree more.

My BOLOs

1. Tharmindran
2. Logendran
3. The Mercenary
4. Raven Kaur
5. Haanu-kah =D
11. Jayanth Abishek Bachan
6. Sean Wong Chee Leong
7. Bobby Bryan John
8. Ameeta Kaur Giren
9. Soheila (ex Iranian student)
10. Rueben Vinod Philip

Guys, and gals, I owe a lot to you, and if time permits me, I shall never cease to keep you all on the pedestal of my heart til the day I die, for it is during dark times that real freinds do shine. I sincerely cherish and treasure all your kind words and deeds and will try my best to repay you however I can. You possibly will nevercome to understand how much my heart appreciates you but you are truly God-sent. Much love ya'll.

Doreen

Omadhaun I am

I've packed my memories, lost things and sadness into a big suitcase. Then I took the suitcase, locked it inside a giant metal chest and pushed it into the sea of tranquility. Mr. Sea, swallow up all these things please, don't make them resurface. Those things were meant to wear out sooner or later. I grew out of my friends. many of them which I considered dear to me. They didn't fit me anymore. My special someone took so much out of me that I knew it was best I moved on. I still dwell on the past but not as much as I used to.

As I float sometimes in this sea, on a raft of my new-found comfort zone, the waters are still clear enough for me to see deep down beneath, where my baggage lay. My eyes cannot help but be transfixed upon them, as distance of the depth slowly blur the sense of familiarity that these things once possessed. Then I wake up and funnily realise that I am the creator of this sea. The ocean of my tears. I look at it under a more optimistic light upon realisation. The sea is my remover of sadness and despair. Everytime I cry some of my sadness melts away into this ocean. The raft that I lay, toss and turn in slowly floats towards the island. The island represents my happiness and contentment. it means no more shall I cry.

But the sea around me will always exist to constantly remind me of my sadness. It will make me appreciate every little blessing and happiness more than ever each day. I want to thank my friends who have consoled and tried to blow away the dark clouds above me so that I could see the rainbow. You know who you are. =) I could not wrap my head around it before. I kept packing and unpacking the suitcase. As the raft moves gently, I know I'm not alone because I can hear God leading the way to that island. The island where He dwells called Paradise.

Where everything is interlinked..

I tell you, karma is something that I have been avoiding to believe in. Coz somewhere in my head I know it's true. Karma really works coz the Hindus thousands of years ago could not find any other explanation to why they felt like there was a come-back after every good or bad deed.
Nothing seems to be going right for me now. Karma strikes? Wallowing in my own self-pity is my pet peeve these days... not so much of nail biting coz i do that subconsciously. So, not counted.
Thinking about how many friends I have lost contact with makes my mind travel back in time. As I do that I realise that I haven't lost that many...I just never took the time to say hello. At my age everyone's working or finishing up their varsity years.. I'm not dreading to grow up, just not used to having so much of bad luck. What is luck anyways? I don't believe in that too. I'm just saying it here coz I don't know what else to blame those stuff on. O wait. Maybe it IS karma. I am proud to say that both my head and my heart has grown much stronger than before. In the sense that I do and say what I feel is right, and if someone doesn't like it, too bad for them (used to let stuff like that bug me previously). I have built this strong resistance for nagging and negative nonsenticals, and I am becoming more goal-oriented. Although this 'bad luck' seems to be trailing my every move and breath, I say it's okay. Totally fine. Coz no guts, no glory, right folks? Say and do as you may please.. I am proud to be me now. I can handle crisis like a wedding planner who found out that the wedding cake got eaten up by the pet pug. The show still has to go on right? So, Mr 'Bad Luck', just so you know, this year is My year, the year of the Ox, and I have every nerve to do my summersaults and walk with my nose in the air, coz you're off to Timbuktu soon, and I'll be walking on air!

I do not own myself....

Nobody owns themselves. Why? If we owned ourselves, we would not die. Who would like their owned-self to die? For we have a body, a conscious mind (altho half the time we do things in a routine that we don't think)
and an inner self, the spirit, or so we call it.

What's the hype about success and getting rich and risking our lives to die trying? Somewhere in the back of my head, I want to retreat to a temple in IndoChina, wear a piece of cloth, shave my head, and walk around saying prayers and reaching my hands out for alms of food and the occasional stuff. But, wouldn't that be selfish? i'm the first kid the the family, my family needs me. So what should I do? Build an orphanage?

Well, maybe I'll do that. If I am rich enough. What am I doing thinking bout these rubbish? For me now, success has overshot my prior concept of it. I want to be successful in controlling my anger. I want to be less moody and smile more. I fret growing older coz I think my skin's aging real quick, but I really REALLY wanna feel so good on the inside. I want to be more humble, sincere and honest. I will stop there.

Which is why, I am pulling myself back from so many people I know. As I read my dailay mantra in a book a.k.a A New Earth, I am starting to learn to be 'silent'...To just quiet down... and by doing so i get to feel the vibrations that people give me... Sadly I have realised that many friends that I claimed to have weren't really friends at all.. i try to not foster vengeance or any sort of negative feelings towards these people.. but it is tough indeed... But thank god there were a few that stood out from the crowd... A few that I owe my heart to. You fellas and fellis know who you are. I love you with all my heart people. Much Love Muchachaz!

I am trying not to live a life of regrets. And also to pick up after my own mess. Then when I'm soaring high enough, I will bow down and kiss earth to remind me of where I came from.


Getting out of the damsel in Distress outfit,

DoDo